The Bay Area Jewish Community Heals Together
The loss of a baby or child is so profound that it’s often unseen and unacknowledged in communal spaces. Sinai Memorial and the local Jewish community designed The Memory Garden so we could hold this particularly tender loss together.
The Memory Garden began in 2009 with the vision of two local Jewish parents, Debbie Findling and Abby Porth, each of whom experienced pregnancy and infant loss–a loss without an established Jewish mourning ritual or communal space for connection. In their grief, they imagined a visibly dedicated sacred space (Makom) for comfort, reflection, and healing grounded in Jewish values.
Debbie, reflecting on The Memory Garden’s earliest purpose, said, “We wanted a place where parents could bring their grief out of isolation and into community.”
“Judaism gives us rituals for so many moments of loss, but pregnancy loss is often invisible. The Memory Garden creates a place where that grief can be seen and held.”
Debbie and Abby brought their vision to the leadership at Sinai Memorial, which embraced the opportunity to help make it real alongside our partner organizations: Jewish Family and Children’s Services (JFCS) and others. As the Bay Area’s nonprofit Jewish funeral home, Sinai Memorial has cared for families in these tender moments of prenatal, infant, and child loss without finances getting in the way.
“Our role is to be with families at the most raw and tender times,” Sam shared. “We provide care with a steady but soft touch.”
Above all, The Memory Garden reflects a simple truth at the heart of Jewish communal life: no grief should be carried alone. As longtime Sinai Memorial staff member and Communications Director, Lisa Finkelstein said, “Jewish tradition gives people something to do with their grief.” She adds, “Yet having a place like this changes the echoing silence that so many people have carried—across generations—after the loss of a pregnancy, a child, or the family they hoped to raise.”
The First Dedicated Jewish Space for Pregnancy Loss in North America
The traditional Mourner’s Prayer (Kaddish) is not recited nor is the First Seven Days of Mourning (Shiv’a) observed. Given the high infant mortality rate of generations past, these customs were developed to nurture and protect families.
“The Memory Garden makes a Makom—a sacred place—for our tears, our learning, and our connection to one another. It affirms that these losses matter, and that the people who carry them deserve care.”
“A place where grief is acknowledged, memory is honored, and no one is asked to mourn alone.”
Opened in 2022, The Memory Garden represents decades of collaboration, fundraising, and care that we’re honored to share with the Jewish community.